I can't. I try to listen to it.
I wake up. Talk to god.
Make the oatmeal and coffee. A song pops into my head.
And then I wanna hear it. But the bug out is since I have moved,
I haven't really BEEN into a listening to hip hop mood,
because everything is in transition.
Haven't really been feeling the notion of background music.
Which means I am in a grip of pain, because, dude, Imma b-girl.
What IS a b-girl without music? A f*cking ghost.
The music that I was pumping last spring and fall, would be an instant
mental-all-bad trigger. Like f*ck. How did all this sh*t happen to me!?!?!?
My living space AIN'T what I had in BK. The fly studio. The bk Bridge at my back door.
Straight luxurious macking for a Black Lady. Smell me. So when I try and listen to NAS. That sh*t takes me back to last fall, and I can't fade it.
Takes me back to breaking up with your Boy BL.
Full disclosure. I listened to HH is Dead and The Clipes on a 4 hour loop
on the bus ride from DC to NY. Your boy BL (do a site search "BL" for the
background) got me heated right before finals.
So rather than self destruct, I got outta town and on the way back
became intimately familiar with HH is Dead and Keys Open Doors.
I am trying to piece together a play list that doesn't contain
emotional f*cking landmines. So far, I got Rakim, Al Green,
My Jay-Z list. Now for long time readers, yall know I just got
into Jay, hard core this summer.
He illustrates what I struggle with when I consider where I am coming
from and where I am going.
I can always listen to Jay when I need inspiration, but Dear Summer is corrupted on
Hate that sh*t.
I think imma go to my momma house and get my running shoes and start running by these damn hills and mountains.
ALSO would require another play list. Maybe I could just run to Ciara.
But then again, I mean. I could pump The Clipse. But The Clipse and the Bay don't match up to me.
So I got Rakim. Al Green.
I needs that new Common and that new Kweli.
I might just say f*ck it and pump Midnight Marauders like a Tweaker.
Oh oh, I know, Operation Doomsday, and MM. That will work.
That should take me at least through the end of the month.
But then again, Kweli might have what I need right now.
Some good story telling. Some gutt punching beats.
Holy sh*t. I know what I need. Erykah's first jawn, Baduizm. That will be perfect.
Xcactly what I need in my life right now.
What are some albums/songs that you can't listen
to because they remind of a time period that is too
in the f*cking gristle for you to think about?
((((( Somebody lemme hold Baduizm and Dear Summer. Wait Jay now
after a "creative" google search. Now I just need Erykah. Pu-leaze!