Me & Lauryn Hill: An Evolution

The first time I heard Lauryn Hill, was probably a single from

the Blunted on Reality album and I hated it. At that time

it appeared to be crazy gimmicky.

I didn't like The Fugees and I didn't like The Score. The Score took an L

because in many ways, it was accessible, cross over Boom Bap.

Many folks who knew how much I liked rap, and hip hop heads in general

felt that it should get a pass. I was like, eehhhhnnn no. I can also admit

now that I was lightweight hating. She was fly, fresh and a B-girl. It was

perhaps a knee jerk, "There can only be one of us" reaction.

In addition, as a teenager I was heavily influenced by Islam and subsequently,

I felt that Lauryn should wear more clothes. I know, hard to believe, 

Ms. M.dot actually had something to say about the clothing of that a 

woman wears. But it was true.

The fact that I used to believe that back in the day goes to the notion

that we don't become who we are over night.

While I was certainly familiar with feminist politics then, I didn't have

a historical understanding that would allow me to question WHY it 

was any of my business how scantily clad L was in the first place.

Remember when Dave said on Stakes is High, " The underground is about

not being exposed, so you better take ya naked ass and put on some clothes"?

Well, In my mind that was directed towards over exposed rappers in general

but could be applied to Lauryn as well. In fact, when De La came to 'Frisco to 

perform, I asked Dave whether he meant that line for L and he looked at me

and was like, "nah, uhhhh, nah".

When she came out with Miseducation, I warmed up. From beginning

to end, the album was what she was going through in her life.

Not entirely self destructive, a little heavy handed, and perhaps most 

importantly, really human. 

As I have gotten older my thinking about clothes, presentation

and human beings has changed over time. I now realize that 

not only do I not want anyone talking about how short or tight my 

skirt is, I have also come to realize that it is none of my business 

what L wears as well.

I also realize that, and Erykahs recent pregnancy certainly underscores this,

that as Black women,  many folks feel that they have say so in what

we choose to do with our bodies. I find this intriguing given

the unbelievable pass given to Black men such as Puffy, R.Kelly, Akon given

their relationship and or sexual practices.

Which brings me back to Lauryn. I miss her. As I think about these 

Hip Hop and feminism study groups I wonder what her music

would sound like today. I wonder what the beats  would sound

like, who she would be collaborating with and how much being

a mom would play into her music.

Recently there were complaints about the fact the neither VH1's 

Hip Hop Honors and BET's Hip Hop awards nominated a single

woman. An anonymous source said that the reason why

there were fewer women emcees being launched on major labels

their hair and make up costs are expensive. You and I both know

that this is a lie, as record companies will invest millions into an 

artist if they believe that the return on investment. So I am suppose 

to believe hair weaves and mac eye shadow run into the tens of thousands

for female emcees? Besides grooming costs are irrelevant as artists are

responsible for paying back the labels for money that they spend on an artist.

The fact that there are no women were nominated for BET Awards or for a

Hip Hop Honors award underscores the significance of seeing Lauryn's

image in pop culture. There she was, petite, chocolate brown and

a mane of natural hair. Then and now, we are not allowed to be 

represented like that in pop culture.

That being said, Lauryn if you are out there, we are waiting for you.

To the young woman who sees her self as the next Lauryn Hill, we

are waiting for you as well.