I hate the term domestic violence.
Domestic serves to modify and soften the word violence.
It seeks to make it a less threating more acceptable
kind of violence. And thats a problem.
Think about this fact.
42% of women murdered in this country, are
killed by lovers, partners spouses. This means that
by and large, we get killed by men that we love, men
that we are intimate with.
(I am not sure of the statistics of
women who are killed by their female partners,
but the rate of women killed by their male partners
is currently tracked, so I will go with it for now).
Now me and this dude go hard, he's family,
So if he says, "Yo, you been picking at me",
I knew he was serious.
It all stems from a conversation last week where he
mentioned that he had to break up
a fight between a dude and a girl. He went on to say
that if he see's a dude that is clearly bigger,
and hitting on a woman, he is going to do something.
I responded saying, I believe that if you
are violent You Are Violent, and if you aren't violent
then you aren't. This, "I don't hit girls sh-t" is
for the birds.
Looking back. My answer was too theoretical
and apparently didn't fly with his version of
Earlier today, he mentioned that my response didn't make
sense. He went on to say that after he played his role
and tried to break up the fight and left, the dude punched
the girl in her neck. She was taken to the hospital
for that injury and also because she drank to much.
He was angry at me because I said that it wasn't his role to
get in the middle.
My position was that you are either for violence or against it.
This " I don't hit girls sh-t " was some outta-pocket hair
That ain't cut the mustard with him.
m.dot:"What happens when you get in it to defend theI cleaned up my previous statement and said, alright blood,
girl and the dude comes at you?"
dig dug: "In that case, they weren't gonna come at me.
They know me and they know that I will go bad on them".
m.dot: "I forgot that you have a thick is invincibility
strand". He remains quiet.
I should have said that these situations should be judged on
a case by case basis. I also added that my experience has
shown me that you can come in between a man and a woman
and in trying to defend her she starts attacking you,
presumable for hitting her man.
I acknowledged that there is no easy solution to those situations.
dig dug: Yeah, you right about the case by case basis too.He acknowledges what I said with a pause, he doesn't
me: Yeah. I should have said that last week. Plus. I think
that the "don't hit girls thinking is dangerous because what
stops a person from saying that YOU CAN DO SOMETHING
to a girl BECAUSE she is female".
outright agree with me. I sensed that he knows that I have
a point, but he is going to continue to stick to his Gemini guns
because he can't help it.
dig dug: Plus, I know you different form me, you a liberal.The bugged out thing, is that if I ever got myself into a squabble,
m.dot: What, I'm a liberal, then what are you then?
dig dug: I ain't no liberal. You probably gonna vote for Hillary Clinton.
I bet you was in Berkeley last week protesting the Marines.
me: ***Cracking up laughing. What. Why you say that? You
are so scandalous. Did you find out your voting eligibility?
Who you voting for?
dig dug: The old dude, the grandpa.
me: McCain? Why?
dig dug: Because he a grandpa, he deserve to win.
me: ***shakes my head, but I am happy the argument is deescalated.
dig dug would be the first person I called because I KNOW he is
That was a hard conversation y'all.
Do you intervene if you see a man putting
his hands on a woman?
Does it matter if you know them?
Would you intervene if they were strangers?
Why or why not?