Friday, February 15, 2008

Heaven Only Knows: Waking Up with a.....Song in My Head


I woke up last Saturday with Heaven Only Knows spinning
in my head. So I turned on i-tunes, and put it on repeat.
All I could think was how the lyrics nailed that painful
conversation from the preceding Thursday and I was floored.

Last night was the worst night
Beginning of the end
Or maybe it began before
and here we go again

Things got so dramatic

Things got out of hand
We said words we couldn't imagined I don't understand

There you go with the same old thing

When things go wrong you always seem to blame me

Now I would like to find what secrets hide in your mind
Where the end will go Will I ever know
~Heaven Only Knows (c) John Legend.

I then decided to send SJ another note.
Next, I put on that lovely dress sheer dress I just bought.
Went out with mom's, bought some some new headphones.
(Somehow the old ones got killed during January's martini

Besides, I have been 'noid about being on public transportation
with white ear buds. I was an ipod early adopter, so I have never
been shook about wearing them. But now that
everybody and they momma know that the white
ear buds=ipod, I was reluctant to wear them on the bus,
as I am
not trying to get jacked by some young buck who is looking
to cop cell phone bill money.

Getting hip hop back felt so good.

Jay's song, Departure, is so vivid that
I can envision the piece being acted out on stage as one
of Danny Hoch's Hip Hop theater pieces.
Listening to it, I came to the conclusion
that the next piece I am going to write is a fictitious account
of a confrontation that my mother has with my sister- in a
hospital room. Intense right?

There is nothing like good music to help you keep your focus.

Do you remember the I can't listen to Nas post, well, I think this
post is the the book end.

So he and I have been writing to each other.

Out of all of this I was most surprised by my resilience.
I thought that because I was a puddle on Friday, I would continue
to be one, but that wasn't the case.

When I talk to him SJ now, I must
say there is a clear appreciation for the other person that
hasn't been present in our conversations in a long time.

What will happen, in the long run, Heaven Only Knows.

*Whop is indigenous Oakland slang used to illustrate the
convenience of able to do one or more things at once.
"Man, I could have downloaded the new Jay-Z and Ye-ye
in one whop, if I had more drive space".



I am trying to trust my instinct and
be too rash on this one.

How do you quiet to noise so that you
can hear
your gut speaking?

When was the last time you didn't listen
to your
gut, and paid for it in the long run?



neo said...

Well you pay attention to what your gut says and sometimes what your gut is saying you know to be true but you don't wanna do.

Model Minority said...



I can be really, really, compulsive tho....I am trying to let god lead on this one ock.

neo said...

You and me are in the same canoe @compulsion.....I understand..

Model Minority said...

I am getting better tho.

I mean.

Its Saturday night, I posted like, one new post today...a good dig dug post..imho..I got a couple in the pipe line...and I am not out doing god knows what with.......
You Smell me?....thats a new way for me handling things and I am just grateful for the small victories blood.

neo said...

Hey that's what to do..artists like us sometimes write songs, others poems (I do this more than songs..I guess I'm not all the way there to really put my personal life on wax yet, only in metaphors and small doses)..don't see why blogs can't help..

I'm enjoying this run..than having to wait for you a whole week or 4 days to get a new fix.

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