Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sex Sells, But No One Wants to Talk About Buying It.

TwitThis


I have been thinking about Spitzergate.

The Duke Rape Case.

Karrine Stepans, her books and the reflexive venom
she elicits from those in the online hip hop world.

I have been thinking about my voice in the
blogosphere.


Been thinking about Akon and his assault case with the 16 teenager
that looked older than 16.

I remember, when we were discussing issues, being the lone female
voice in a largely, cyber, male environment. Not complaining.
I got agency. Spitzergate reminded me of Akon, which
inspired me to try and draw some connections.

Feeling better than some head on a Sunday afterno0n
feeling better than a chick that say yes too soon
Until you have a daughter, thats what I call karma
Then you pray god, that she don't grow breasts to soon

~We Major, Kanye
When the Akon event happened,
cats were talking about "I would hit it, she look good".

I came back at them with a question.
I asked, "Have you ever rocked with a girl, and it soon became
clear that while she consented to something sexual that
she was in over her head?"

I also reminded cats that the girl, no matter how grown
she looked, was someone's underage daughter.

With the Duke Rape Case, I went back and forth with Dallas
about his perception of the extent to which "the responsibility"
for the Black Family fell on the Momma. I took a issue with notion that
it overwhelming fell on the mothers and many others did as well.

I remember going hard with dudes, after Karinne's book
came out. To them, she was the scummiest scum, because
she kissed and told. Same with Nas's baby momma.

During these times, all I kept thinking was we can listen
to Fat Joe, 50 Cent, Mobb Deep, Wu Tang, Boot Camp,
Jay Z, The Clipse, Freeway, talk about selling crack and
they get the STRAIGHT PASS,
but a woman has sex with
a rapper and talks about
it and she is as wrong as 10 snitches.

I was instantly reminded of this when I saw this Jay
Smooth video where he talks about the "irony" of Ashley Dupree
capitalizing on her situation to getting a deal ".



Last week, Kirstoff at The Times
shared some gems on
Spitzergate and the sex trade. He writes,

Reading between the sheets, the world of “Kristen” and Eliot Spitzer may seem relatively benign. She may have been abused as a child, and tangled with drugs and homelessness, but she was also a consenting adult who apparently kept half the cash that customers paid for her.

That’s a dangerously unrepresentative glimpse of prostitution in America. Those who work with street prostitutes say that what they see daily is pimps who control teenage girls with violence and threats — plus an emotional bond — and then keep every penny the girl is paid.
Sometimes I meet a girl who says, ‘I have a really good pimp — he beats me only with an open hand,’ ” said Rachel Lloyd, a former prostitute who runs a program for underage prostitutes in New York City. “Many of the girls see the pimps as boyfriends, but violence is integral to everything that happens in the sex industry. That’s how you get punished for not bringing in your quota for that evening, or for looking your pimp in the eye.”
I have a really good pimp... That's some bugged out sh-t.

Every evening she must earn a quota of money before she can sleep. She may be required to tattoo the pimp’s name on her thigh. And in exchange he may make presents of clothing or jewelry.

It’s complicated: What keeps her isn’t just fear, but also often an emotional connection.

“When somebody wields power over you to kill you and doesn’t, you feel this bizarre thankfulness,” Mr. Myles said. “It’s trauma bonding.”

When a middle-class white girl ends up controlled like this — think of Elizabeth Smart, the Utah girl who was kidnapped in 2002 and apparently did not try to escape — then everybody is outraged at the way the kidnapper manipulated her. But when the girls are black, poor and prostituted, there is either indifference or an assumption that they are consenting to the abuse.

I couldn't believe Kristoff said this. I read it a few times,
thinking that
perhaps, it was a quote, but he said it.

===
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Sex Sells, But No One Wants to Talk About Buying It.

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24 comments:

Anonymous said...

When it's a white girl controlled everyone is outraged at the kidnapper?You wouldn't know it if you read a lot of the comments on all the blogs and videos about Elizabeth Smart.There are a lot of trolls on the Internet who post evil,hurtful things about her.

Model Minority said...

Oh. Thats not to say that cats arn't evil towards her.

I am sure they are.

Kristoff's point is that in general, Black kidnapped women, and Black prostitutes are disproportionately presented as having consented to being abused/pimped.

neo said...

This isn't an American phenomenon, its global. Goes back to the ironies and inconsistencies in various societies about what women can or cannot do. Then you trickle this down to the racial divide and it the stench worsens..

oh and Karrine is still scum-my as far as her books are concerned.

the prisoner's wife said...

Anon: the difference between Elizabeth Smart and other missing/exploited white women we hear of on the news is exactly that, WE HEAR ABOUT THEM ON THE NEWS! when a black/brown woman goes missing, they garner little news attention. i mean, why do we know about Natalie Holloway, but not the THOUSANDS of black women that go missing each year?
~~

we are living in a hyper-sexual society that still views black/brown bodies as sex toys.

everyday i hear comments from my male students (and even female ones) that reward/encourage sexual activity among young boys. they feel as though they should be sexually active at 12/13 because that is what they see in our culture. a lot of their ideas toward sex stem from popular music and images they see on tv. kids, esp kids of color, aren't really viewed as kids for very long. this is reflected in the disproportionate amount of juveniles being prosecuted as adults, and the higher rates of sexual activity for kids these days.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

so true, all i can add is great post

Model Minority said...

esp kids of color, aren't really viewed as kids for very long. this is reflected in the disproportionate amount of juveniles being prosecuted as adults, and the higher rates of sexual activity for kids these days.
=======
Yo. I just saw an article on Mommas in Alabama, w/ Meth problems, white mommas, being arrested and having their babies snatched from them.

All I could think is WHY IS this prosecutor trying to Darden his/her way to fame?

I am reluctant to see it, the inability to see our kids as kids, as a racial issue, and more of a class issue.

Huge tendency to see poor folks as Quasi human, hence the problem with the soft bigotry of low expectations.

Drug addicts NEED rehab, NOT THE FUCKING PEN....feel me?

Model Minority said...

oh and Karrine is still scum-my as far as her books are concerned.
=======

Fuck that neo.

So you ride for jays crack talk but Karinne gets the gas face for talkign about fucking cats.

L.
A.
M.
E.

manaen said...

Couldn't this and the preceding posting be two chapters of a posting that would be called, "What Happens When We Reduce The Value Of Sex From An Integral Part Of, And Protected In, A Committed Relationship (fka "Marriage") to a Recreational Activity With No Particular Consequence Or Connection To Your Companion" ???
.
Can we really expect an increase of the activities in the preceding posting without seeing an increase in the problems noted in the current posting?

M.Dot. said...

What Happens When We Reduce The Value Of Sex From An Integral Part Of, And Protected In, A Committed Relationship (fka "Marriage") to a Recreational Activity With No Particular Consequence Or Connection To Your Companion" ???
===

You and I BOTH know that humans are not going to go for that.

But, then again, using my same rationale, it should be acceptable for spitzer to be held to a lower- holds hand up to knee- standard.

And.
Don't you thing your categories are waaat too black and white, and that the status of sex in relationships tend to fall somewhere in between?

CHIC NOIR said...

M.dot whats the difference between a woman who charges and a woman who goes home with dudes from the club from free.

Model Minority said...

M.dot whats the difference between a woman who charges and a woman who goes home with dudes from the club from free.
=====

OMG. Why do you ask the hard ass f-cking questions?

Intent and purpose is different.

Once money has been exchanged, sex has been turned into a commodity, to be purchased and consumed.

That is not to say that there isn't an element of that in day to day dating.

You got out w/ a cat and breaks of a buck, buck fifty....convention says that he will presume the mash is going down.

That. Is the game.

Aunt Jackie said...

what about the girl who goes home with the guy from the club for rent money...cuz on the real that's what gold diggin looks like at 3 in the morning when the bottle service is put on ice....

BeautyinBaltimore said...

Neo I think its funny how when a woman talks men become upset.

This is just like when a dude brags about sleeping with girl all around school and getting dap but turns around and gets hella angry when said woman tells everybody how he finsihed in a minute or how small it was or or demonstrates(sp) his come face.

M.Dot I just returned from Amsterdam and I have some stories about prostuition.

I really don't see the diffrence between giving it up for free every night and charging a little to pay your mortgage(sp). If you gonna give it up anyhow make money off of it. Some of the women barking the loudest about prostuition go around half naked with tongue rings spreading their legs for any and everybody in creepy places so what is the difference.

Model Minority said...

Going home for rent money.

Um. Not formal prostituting..but most certainly along the spectrum.

Important that I state that with regard to exchanging sex for bills etc, we have all made compromises for cake.

The shit with women is glaring because of the sexual element.
Seeing someone do it publicly allows us to assuage our egos and feel better.

There is no judgment in my comments.

As a grad student arrrrround this time last year I most certainly was taking Thai dinners with cats that in my head it was like "he's alright, but he's not real". Feel me?
M.dot was houngry and the at the end of every semester, theloan money gets thin. I can say it because I know at sometime or another we have all done it.

Model Minority said...

I really don't see the diffrence between giving it up for free every night and charging a little to pay your mortgage(sp).
=======
Fucking for cash is NOT the same.
Never has been never will be.

Is working for your boss for cash the same as working for free?

If you gonna give it up anyhow make money off of it.
==========
Here is the problem. I don't see it as something being given up. That implies some victim shit. A person who has no choice.

We all have agency. That blessed will to act. Word to Soujourner truth.

ome of the women barking the loudest about prostuition go around half naked
=======
Feel you on the half naked. **wink. Especially after this Frisco weekend with my folks Filthy....

with tongue rings spreading their legs for any and everybody in creepy places so what is the difference.
=========
Your language indicates a kind of despise for sexual women. Am I misguided in this conclusion?
Not despise...but you already walking around "dirty" so you might as well make money off of it.

Where is the progressive thought in that?

neo said...

Karrine passed off her book as gospel truth then later after loopholes were found in the stories retracted tryinna pass it all off as entertainment.

At least she could've kept it consistent...

Jay's raps about crack were based on actual truths, not to mention he has elucidated the entertainment aspect of it rhyme without number.

Sides: we've talked about this issue before I've never been in support of promoting the drug trade either on or off wax. It's been my dilemma with half of the really good emcees who've had criminal pasts over the last decade plus. I have ridden for Jay per his talent not for the ounces so please miss me with all that...

@beauty: Until a dude actually mentions names, dates and places, binds it all in a folder and sends it off to CRC press for publishing then we can talk about this..till then sorry I'm not seeing the discrepancy.

Karrine is still scummy.

You know what I ain't even mad at Carmen for dropping her book now looking back since Jay esp pretty much layed it all out. Karrine for instance just never had a leg to stand on.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

@neo- Plenty of women have had their names dragged thru the mud by men that don't have a book deal. It takes two to tangle, most of the men who sleep with her knew what they were geting into and they did it anyway.
----------------------------------
@m.dot- Your language indicates a kind of despise for sexual women. Am I misguided in this conclusion.

Yes you are m.dot. You know about a year ago I was trying to find myself sexually(orgasm).
I have a problem with women who sell it throught golddiging but look down on the women like Sprister's girl.
----------------------------------
Important that I state that with regard to exchanging sex for bills etc, we have all made compromises for cake

&
Fucking for cash is NOT the same.
Never has been never will be.

M.dot look at the two quotes above. My dear, they are the same. What most women find themselves doing is selective prostuition. Even the women I saw in the windows in Amsterdam choose the men they were willing to sell it to. Giving the goods up for a Thai dinner and giving it up for 500.00 is still selling it at the end of the day. Almost all women turn what is inbetwwen their legs into a commodity(sp) at some point in their lives, for cash and many other things.
The most important thing to remember is once a man has slep with you either through paying for it or talking you out of your draws for free, he got what he wanted. No matter what a man may say in out ears, at the end of the day they want to have sex with us. I can never see myself working the streets for 50 bucks a joe, but I know for 5,000 an hour plenty of women can and will work for a top tier escort service.

Not every woman who sells sex is a victim. Many women chose to go this road. The DC madam had many professional women working for her. One of the women was an Economics professor at University of Maryland.

Is working for your boss for cash the same as working for free?

Amsterdam has made me look at sex workers in a new light. I am going to include this in my upcoming post.

M.Dot I love you girl. We bumping heads on this one though.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

"Karrine passed off her book as gospel truth then later after loopholes were found in the stories retracted tryinna pass it all off as entertainment.

At least she could've kept it consistent..."

Neo

What were the loop holes found in her book neo?

neo said...

@beauty: are you sure these guys gave her permission to tell tall tales about sex romps that prolly never happened? Considering she did own up that not all her tales were true? If you were the one mentioned in the book and you know you had never been with this woman how would you feel? Won't see her as scum?

Yes it takes two to tango and yes some guys actually get a kick out of discussing their sexcapades with others though again you have to ask how many are getting these stories published so the entire world has access? I don't care what she does with her spare time but I don't want anyone trying to paint her as some "victim" of societal imbalance b/w how men and women are perceived. She in turn chose to sleep with as many ppl as she did...and she made the choice to make money off her stories true and untrue.

the consequences are hers to bear. scum unfortunately being one of them. Honestly I don't think if a guy did this in this day and age he'd be applauded or given a medallion of honor by other guys either. Guys do immature things at certain stages in their lives but when you grow up some things just become tasteless.

Sorry I've gone off on a tangent here..

She herself mentioned the book was not based on true experiences she had with several of the rappers and athletes mentioned. Can't find a link right now at the moment..

M.Dot. said...

It's been my dilemma with half of the really good emcees who've had criminal pasts over the last decade plus
======
Thats cool. The middle ground make sense.


Karrine is still scummy.

You know what I ain't even mad at Carmen for dropping her book now looking back since Jay esp pretty much layed it all out. Karrine for instance just never had a leg to stand on.
======
Oh. So the issue isn't the fact that she spoke about it, its the fact that there were inaccuracies.

Ok, nods head.


I think that there are three sides to every story, and about 6 to sexual relationship stories. But thats me.

So sans inaccuracies, you are cool w/ Karrine?

M.Dot. said...

M.dot look at the two quotes above. My dear, they are the same. What most women find themselves doing is selective prostuition.
===

They are not the same.
I had to call Birkhold,my resident advisor on all things labor and sex related.

So it was 7:30 in the morning...and I am trying to work out the difference *** I am telling him...how did I become the quasi expert on Prostitution in the Feminist HIP HIP blogosphere....LOL's.
I have a post on "P*ssy as a Commodity "coming up. I just had to
work out the MLK/CRACK family post.

Thank you for the inspiration.
ME thinks its going to start some SHT!

M.Dot. said...

Yes it takes two to tango and yes some guys actually get a kick out of discussing their sexcapades with others though again you have to ask how many are getting these stories published so the entire world has access? I don't care what she does with her spare time but I don't want anyone trying to paint her as some "victim" of societal imbalance b/w how men and women are perceived. She in turn chose to sleep with as many ppl as she did...and she made the choice to make money off her stories true and untrue.
=====

WHY IS SHE SCUM AND N*GGAS WHO SELL CRACK AIN'T AND MAKE MONEY OFF OF IT AIN'T?

COME on mr. moral backflip...walk with me know...come to the gray area..its LOTS of fun...

neo said...

You wrongfully assume I don't think the guys that sell crack and make money off it aren't scum. Again we've had this discussion before..

There's no backflipping going on. I stay consistent with mines.

Model Minority said...

Duly noted.
Wise ass.

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