Sunday, June 10, 2007

Black Men Let Me Into the Barbershop.

TwitThis

Your boy Minnesota Mackin' sent this article
to me breaking down the various women in a
mans life from Wifey to the Jump Off.

Reading this, I felt like I was listening to men
talk in a barbershop
while I eavesedropped through
through a crack in the bathroom door.


And I must say. I was intrigued.
The women in your life. In four
categories.
Y'all know me. I am a professional category creator.

Read and Learn UP.

WIFEY
Wifey is the sexiest, most successful and most
respected of all the women. She is loved, needed
and wanted by her man
...she is VIRTUALLY IRREPLACEABLE.
She is the girl that the guy loves and will always love, he
never wants to see her with another man...BUT he will
cheat on her
with Baby Girl until he is mature enough to
realize that if he gets
caught or MESSES UP up in any way
and loses Wifey, he would be screwed,
and NEVER be happy
again. Wifey gets along with mom, is independent, never nags,
loves to dress sexy for her man, can cook and loves to keep
a clean house. Wifey gets called 5 or 6 times a day.
Drawback of Wifey, she loves public displays of affection...
which might interfere with the acquisition of a Side Piece.
1. Nice. Wifey has an understudy!

BABY GIRL
Baby Girl is ALWAYS just as hot as wifey and usually
has a very active social life..
she IS replaceable, thinks
she's the next Wifey,
but will only be Wifey if an extreme
disaster takes place.
Baby Girl gets some of the benefits
of Wifey, like quality time every now and then and even
presents on birthdays and holidays, but that's as far
as it goes.
The main reason to have Baby Girl is in case
Wife
y really really MESSES UP, she can be replaced in a
matter of weeks because Baby Girl has been groomed
to slip right into her spot. Be careful of Baby Girl,
she tends to be just as attached as Wifey and therefore
can be dangerous to the Side Piece. Biggest benefit of
Baby Girl...she is extremely private and hates causing a
scene, baby girl can Come into the same restaurant
as you and wifey and wifey will have no idea you two even
know each other. Baby Girl is a master of disguise as well.
1.So Baby girl, is descreet and sexy, makes mental note.
Side Piece
Side Piece, usually a female that the guy uses only for
sex other
pleasures, she is usually the one that he goes to for
that 3 some or
some late night head after the club.
When Wifey is acting up and Baby
is at work, the Side
Piece is usually the one to hold him over for
a few hrs.
He can meet with the Side Piece for reasons other than
sex,
but normally that only happens one week during the
month. Side Pieces
are hard to spot when they are out
because most of her friends are
Wifey's or Jump Offs.
Drawback of having more than one side piece,
they
usually know each other somehow...we kinda think there
is a
side piece _network.com (http://network.com/) or something.
Try to keep your side piece count below 4 if possible.
1. Keep it below 1 or 2 max is more like it unless you want a one way
ticket to herpes-ville.
JUMP OFF
Jump Off...every mans dream and worst nightmare.
She is trying to
move up in life, wants to be a
Side Piece or Wifey but doesn't know how
to go
about it. They are just the girls he hollas at when
he is withhis boys... she is usually stored in the cell
phone by a nickname because he barely remembers
her real name and where he met her...he only recalls how fat
her ass was. The Jump Off gets called in emergencies
only,
when wifey is moody, baby girl is on vacation and
side piece is with her baby's father. The Jump Off is extremely
dangerous in public for a number of reasons,
she is usually 5
other guys jump off as well, so she might cause drama with you
and one of those dudes if you slipup, she also has no
problem confronting you in the mall when you are with
Wifey (something that baby girl would NEVER do) and the
most dangerous thing about Jump Off...she ALWAYS seems to find
out where you live and or work.
1. Jump pff seems to be a very violatile lady. Duly noted.
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Ladies.  We need to do some groups for they asses.
Any ideas? I have a few:

#1
There is the #1. Errry body gets bumped for him. He's
been there w/ you when you got your first big promotion.
Will come through in the clutch when you need some
furniture moved and will go see the nerdiest movie with
you becase he knows you love it.

OLD FLAME

There's the Old Flame. Sh*t never really popped off right
w/ him. Either he would have someone and you would be
single or vice versa. The love NEVER synched up.
BUT you allways take take his calls, cuz he's that DUDE.

Mr. Connected

Mr. Connected. He knows 'erry body. Get 'chu into spots.
When you go out you feel fabulous in ya sequin halter and
red patent leather pumps. You never have to go into your
bag, when you are out together. The problem is that he is a
lil too metro for you you. So you just keep it on the kiss on
the lips good night gear.

Im sure yall can come up with some other ideas.
^^^Part of me feels like I am giving up the game.

Another part says charge that to the game for being a writer.

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This ought to be interesting.

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13 comments:

Aunt Jackie said...

ok what about Mr Good On Paper

On paper he's a dream, graduated from the right school, is on the career path, drives something real sexy is a recent edition, has decent credit and might even be a home owner but the dude is still some what corny and possibly dry. He's the one you call when you have to make a public appearance and need someone who speak in complete sentences without embarrassing you, might actually own his own Tuxedo, isn't limited to church suits, owns more work shoes (some would call dress shoes) than sneakers.

you almost wanna fall for this dude after a night of jazz and wine tasting but his blackberry is off the chain and you know that he's wanted in 7 states but chics who are looking for their future baby daddy, he looks good on paper but ain't nothing but heart ache. You might let him taste it, but you can't let him hit the bottom cuz you can't afford to get hooked on someone who ain't ready to hang up their player card yet!

Stephen said...

^^^^
Just a hypothetical, huh?

M.Dot. said...

Ohhhh.

Lawwd Gina.

I ain't even read the whole jawn.

Lets just say that I gave the "condo down payment" ahem, I mean, engagement ring back.

Good on Paper.

Momma you that truth.

And Ph, You B nice.

DEE DEE in tha mail.

And August is comming:)

stephen said...

"Dee Dee," huh?

I like that much better.

And it's not that i didn't agree.

Just sounded very...

"personal".

M.Dot. said...

I like Dee Dee.

Sassy and Fast, like .......... moi!

And Ph.

Both you an I know that the best writing comes from right here. *points to heart.*

M.Dot. said...

Sometimes people e-mail me their comments instead of posting it.

Here it is:
==============

Wow... this one was good... I think there a few more
categories depending on the social economic status
culture and maturity of the person...

for men...

The Lover
The Abuser
The Alibi
The Make Sense Girl
The "What the Fuck I'm I doing with this Chick" Chick

for women...

The "He aint shit but he lays it down" dude
The I want to have his baby dude
The Punk
The Thug
The Maintenance Man

I can provide explanations later if at your request...
But I'm in the middle of a meeting being a negro.

Aunt Jackie said...

Mr Good on Paper is was about all I dated for years in the Bay Area, I think every boarding school and Ivy League black graduate within a 20 mile radius had at least one martini with me, and i hear they are every whre, they come in the short version in LA!

I Fux said...

damn who can keep that many hoes on tap, Yo I roll with the 3 at a time theory Wifey, Jumpoff and Jumpoff thats it....My Shit stays Kung Fu like that

Good Ish by the way

M.Dot. said...

I think every boarding school and Ivy League black graduate within a 20 mile radius had at least one martini with me,
==========

I had a tha homie turn the car around last night cuz i wanted a martini.

You KAARAZAY.

Mr.Good on Paper. MGOP. NICE!

M.Dot. said...

I fux,

The W.

The J

and the J.

You silly.

neo said...

I laughed at this

'cos well its TRUE!!!!

In order to maintain wifey as a man you have to grow into that phase and mindset or else you'll still be fielding free agent offers.

lightdigga said...

aunt jackie you are not alone!!!!

i think bay area dudes major in being good on paper.

what cracks me up is how they can be dry as a martini and still think they fly. i just don't get it....

M.Dot. said...

what cracks me up is how they can be dry as a martini and still think they fly.
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Gurl is all them times they watched the mack in 1986.

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