Sunday, December 16, 2007

On My Bill Bellamy Moment


If New York didn't teach me anything, it taught me
how to play my position
in life.

Sure while The Graduate acknowledged that I was attractive,
he didn't feel it to the extent to try and wife me.

Granted The Jawn enjoyed my company, and thought I was sexy,
but me being his main squeeze? That wasn't going to happen.

He had other things going on.

In the recent past, I think it was August, I wrote about Bill Bellamy
and how he must feel looking at Jamie Fox's career.

Both of them started off on the Black comedian sitcom circuit,
yet in recent years Bill's career stagnated while Jamie Fox's
has taken off into the stratosphere.

I thought of this when reading about BET's list of the Best
Hip Blog Writers
, and Elliott Wilson's subsequent post
and response
that he was going to do 24 posts in 24 hours.

I found the list jarring not because of not being included,
but because it reminded me of my own inability to get my
other writing projects off the ground.

This past summer I had the privilage of reviewing
another bloggers contract right before his blog
was acquired.

That experienced taught me that if you find your niche
and can deliver readers, writers can make a decent nickel
off this game
. Since then I have some up with an idea for
an industry related blog that is
set to launch first quarter '08.

Of course, there is more. I have been floating an idea of a
business of hip hop book (Donald Trump meets Rich Dad Poor Dad
meets Jay Z).

I have also been trying to hammer out some short stories.

In trying to write these projects I have learned that
I am either short on time, or the overly critical voice in
my head tells me that I need to have a clearer idea
where the project is going before I do any more

But the project won't go anywhere unless I execute.

Its a vicious, vicious cycle.

Which brings me back to the hard sh*t about New York.

There are so many beautiful, rich, creative, talented people
around you that it is easy to feel like sh*t.

Conversely, there are opportunities that present themselves
because you were at the right, party/cafe/subway, at the right
time and someone came into your life that helped you take
your art to the next step.

And thats where, when I learned to play my position
came in handy.

Earlier this year, I was forced to have a fundamental
understanding of the fact that it is unbelievably in my best interest
to play my position.

This may mean falling back, this may be being shrewed and bold,
it even may mean removing my self and just being completely unavailable
just to make a point.

What I also have come to appreciate from blogging
is the instant feed back, and community of readers.
I have made friends through blogging, sh-t, I think
I may have met my husband through it. (Now THATS a story).

Not only have a cultivated a fly national community but I
write about stick up kids, feminism, Ice Cube, Hillary Clinton,
Obama and baby mommas, DJ Drama, the Dali Lama. (Okay,
I got carried away).

The point this that my writing has its own lane,
and I am good with that.

However, I will never forget when the Imus incident went down
and Gotty was like, "Are you sure you are a lawyer and not a journalist?"

Does his statement creep into my head? Of course.

On balance, I will never forget meeting Kierno Mayo, right
after she lost Honey
. She was heart broken.

She was beautiful, inquisitive and genuinely interested in my
research on the Gullah Culture and Ebonics.

Looking back, seeing her go through that experience
had an impact on my decision to marry my need for cake
to my love for writing.

Yesterday, my homie Sof.dini told me that writing
social political commentary is a gift. I thought to myself,
I don't write social commentary I just articulate what I think
when I read the newspapers.

But, as much as I don't want to admit it, she is right,
because god lives through.

So excuse me, I have to go, there are some short
story plots calling me.


Whats coming for you in the first few months in '08?

How do you deal with facing road blocks when trying to execute?

What was the most recent opportunity that slipped
by that has
you kicking yourself?



Nina MM said...

I try not to set goals with my writing. I write far more prolifically when I let it come free, from whence it emanates. In fact, I'm not even sure where that is. All I know is that it comes. And when it does, I memorialize it.

M.Dot. said...

Thank you for your kind words.

the prisoner's wife said...

i have felt like bill bellamy on oh, so many occasions. so much promise & opportunity, and the lack of execution will kill you.

it certainly has hurt my psyche on several occasions. being in the CENTER of the writing world, having a thesis adviser who was both extremely well-known, and down to earth (and willing to help)...and not capitalizing on it hurts. always douting and questions and criticizing left/leaves me tired and always wondering about the shoulda, coulda, wouldas.

and i'm tired of that. in 08 i plan on writing, not making excuses or questioning myself. just writing, and not giving away my editing, graphic design, tech knowledge for free.

Model Minority said...

not giving away my editing, graphic design, tech knowledge for free.


Giving away the skills fo free is a WHOLE other convo.

Anonymous said...

For me after having my mixtape done as the last project for 2007, proceed to knock out any collab projects I've kept on hold for so long and go IN for my next album which I plan to try to push with every resource I have available...

When facing roadblocks? I pray, write, and wait things out. That's one thing I've learnt, patience does pay off, timing is everything. Sometimes its just not your time, but when your time does come, nothing can stop it.

I think it'd be getting someone to do my PR stuff, though that opportunity isn't closed per se but I'd def have loved to get things popping sooner before losing my former job but I understand when one door closes another opens so I stay in a state of expectation..

Model Minority said...

When facing roadblocks? I pray, write, and wait things out. That's one thing I've learnt, patience does pay off, timing is everything. Sometimes its just not your time, but when your time does come, nothing can stop it.

Your like my....lil patience hero...sounded all good an jesus

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