Monday, October 10, 2005

Brotha', Brotha', Brotha'


Birthday Happiness

Lawyers that blog. Who knew?

I had crazy epiphanies this weekend. I almost caused a small riot at Ripple. This cat, was loud and boisterous and waited clean until my s.o. got up and went to the bathroom for him to tap me and say, "Hey girl, I like the way you wearn' that hat".
Mind you:
a. I am at a b-day party of my s.o.'s friend, so I don't WANNA get it crackin'.
b. I am gritting my teeth and moving my head from side to side in an effort to disengage this cat.
c. Ignoring him made it worse. His boy is trying to calm him down. The s.o. comes back. Dude is still loud though.
d.Cat then calls me a *itch and tell's me I need to go to midtown with all that cause THIS [my dear watson] is this hood.
e. Situation is diffused eventually and I am teased for having Started Trouble.

The conclusion pt I.
a. I am going to have a leaned back weekend. For real. Next weekend. Leaned back. You can tell I am trying to convince myself. Wink. Wink.
b. If I feel it in my gut that a *igga sittin' next to me is lifted and gonna flash...I will move. Not trying to go to jail. At least not for a reason like that.

The conclusion pt II.
a. The violence in Oakland, as wanton as it is, kinda made sense to me. This past two years we had murders in the triple digits, and they mainly occurred in about 4 neighborhoods on 6 blocks. I am exaggerating, but not that much.
Thinking about this use to depress me, but I am seeing now that some people just need to be hushed. The Town', like Texas, operates with a very Wild Wild West, street justice philosophy. With the way that cat was talkin'...I see WHY people get popped. Really. Yack, Yack, Yack. No respect. Can't appreciate nothing nice. Maybe no one hugged him enough when he was a little boy.

Speaking of Oakland
Last week I realized that the source of my pain is also the source of my inspiration. My family. My childhood. Dude. When I get sad, I think of how real East Oakland was, how violent it was, and how that violence, lives in me, affects me. And HOW violent the world is as a whole. It depresses me further and makes me feel like danng, all that happened to me when I was a young buck AND I gotta go through this New York/ Subway/Terrorism/ Post Engagement/ L School/ One Year Older B.S. too!

However, when I am in class feeling isolated or even just at the Barnes and Noble glancing at new book titles, it crosses my mind that I CAN handle the ins and outs of living here BECAUSE of my family. My childhood. Wierd hunh? I guess this is an example of what my Civil Procedure professor saying that "It cuts both ways."

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