Monday, October 17, 2005

Fathers and Daughters



  • 17th anniv of the earthquake in Cali today….at 5:04 pm and they are still working on the new bay bridge Bay Bridge.
  • I was in a café rewriting my legal memo….and it was right after school let out and three diff family’s came in.
  • The dad, in one of the families, proceeded to ask his little girl how her days was, while he was perusing the news paper. What the eff is the point of asking your little girl a q, if you do not listen to her w/ your undivided attention? You are teaching her two things:

a. That you do not have to look at people and listen to them when they are answering a questions that you have asked.

b. That people, men mainly, are not obligated to give her their undivided attention when she is talking to them.

  • Which brings me to my father. My dad has been in and out of my life for a minute. 20 years to be exact. Addiction destroys families. He is also one of the people that I have always adored.
  • Having him in my life CONSISTENTLY for the last few years has had a significant impact on my ability to trust people, especially men.
  • He was one of the first people I told that a. I was not getting married, and that I was moving out. He then was able to offer his perspective based on his experiences .
  • I guess a lot of resentment grows- parent child relationships- out of when a parent is not there for their child during a crisis.
  • I am happy to say that we are closer than ever, in my adult life, and that I have more forgiveness and more of an ability to express my love towards other people now.

I need to go get the new Danger Mouse….that Thelonious Coltrane archive was recently re-released….isn’t that a borderline miracle…that they found an OLD COLTRANE/MONK recording?


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